Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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