the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i think i just lost a toe
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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