she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
