Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
