A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
