I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
