I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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