This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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