Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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