He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
