She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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