Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I love black thongs
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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