I need help removing her.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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