actually, I'm a sock model
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
