You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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