If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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