So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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