Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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