Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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