Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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