I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
