what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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