Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
