I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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