If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
