So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
