the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
