Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
