I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
