She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
