16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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