I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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