sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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