so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
