morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
