I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize