She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
