He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
