FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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