i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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