Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
