i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
