2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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