He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
