no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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