therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
