Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
