I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
