Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize