Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
