Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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