The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
