dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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