I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize