Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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